Survive Family Travel: Traveling With Parents, Siblings, And Extended Family
In May, I will be traveling with my mom, sisters, and assorted distant relatives on an ancestry tour of Germany. As a grown woman in my 30's, it is an exciting opportunity to travel with only adults (whaaaat?!) and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel with just my grown sisters and mom.
My family immigrated from Prussia (current-day Germany) in the mid-1800's. Our tour is being coordinated and planned by a distant cousin several-times removed, so the planning piece is not falling squarely on my shoulders. It will be a typical tour, including busses, pre-booked hotels, meals, tours, an afternoon cruise near Bremen and the port to see where our ancestors embarked on their boat ride to the USA... Sounds amazing!
Very low-maintenance, from my perspective. Literally, the only thing I need to do is show up with a passport and credit card.
In the weeks leading up to our trip, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for what is about to happen. Here's what's on my list:
Read as much as I can on Prussia.
I can tell you all I know about Prussia in about three sentences. This is unfortunately, I think, fairly typical for most Americans. If they are even aware that an empire existed by that name. Maybe the average American would think I meant "Russia" but accidentally said "P" or have some kind of stutter...
I have requested as much historical fiction and non-fiction as I can from the local library and intend to read, read, read. All of my books came in at once. I'm almost finished with a murder mystery ala 1804 eastern Prussia, the threat of a Napoleonic war rumbling in the distance. A Critique of Criminal Reason by Michael Gregorio
Get a map from AAA and map out our itinerary.
Getting to know our route around the country is important for me to understand our family history and will (hopefully) provide me with an internal compass of sorts while there. I've been looking at the different parts of Germany and am quickly realizing that the different provinces or states within Germany vary as much as Florida varies from California - if not in climate, at least in culture, political leanings, history, food, religion.
The boarders of the Prussian (and German) borders have changed so much in the past 150 years, it is difficult to get a good picture of what it was like to live in Prussia and the state-of-mind of the peoples there at the time our family immigrated. Researching a dozen specific places and their history is easier than trying to understand the entire complex history of Germany.
Understanding my family tree.
We will be travelling with distant relatives, so it is important for me to dig into my family tree and figure out exactly who these people are and how they relate to my branch of the tree. Otherwise we are just a bunch of strangers jostling around on a bus together, right?
(Not me running....)
Start exercising.
Yes, that's right. I'm voluntarily going to the gym. As a mom of three active and young children, it is sometimes tough to even get myself there. I recognize that we will be walking more than usual in Germany, and probably climbing more stairs. I fully intend to climb to the top of the Black Gate (How Lord Of The Rings does that sound?!) and Cologne Cathedral and don't want to be sore for days following.
I am now the woman who walks on the treadmill in jeans, breaking in my Germany shoes, and sometimes even a sweater. I try to get in at least two miles of 3.8 walking several times a week. Soon I'll start the stair master. Yuck. But at least my quads won't be screaming at me in Europe. I don't want to miss out on an spontaneous hikes because I over-did it the day before at that castle from ca. 1200. Plus, I guess it's good for me.
Download the Rick Steves Audio Europe app.
I think most people are aware of the awesome books, tv shows, and radio programs that Rick Steves has put together over the past few decades. Guys, his Audio Europe app is ridiculously awesome. While there's not a ton for Germany (specifically, the places we are going) there are a few audio lectures that I intend to listen to before embarking on our trip.
You can download lectures and walking tours, even interviews from his radio program. His walking tours often include maps - incredibly useful and well produced! I listened to the Pantheon (Rome) walking tour just for fun. You can download and listen in airplane mode to avoid using data while abroad.
How To Prepare For Travel With My Mom & Sisters:
One of the main parts of traveling with my mom and sisters, is making sure that I am prepared in all of the ways listed above, and then mentally preparing myself for what it means to be in close-quarters with my family in a way that I haven't been for more than 15 years.
I need to recognize that we will need our own space to recharge. Sometimes that means earbuds, a book, and ignoring one another for a few hours. Sometimes a solo walk, or coffee with one of the other members of the family while my sister takes a nap in our room. I need to be able to rely on myself for entertainment like I haven't had to since getting married at age 22. I honestly haven't had an extended period of "down time" since my son was born in 2005. I am a little worried about how to engage myself when I don't have a small someone to constantly care for.
I have been taking stock of what I know about my sisters and mom, their personalities, tendencies, and will have a game-plan in place for when things inevitably go sour. I need to evenly spread my activities, or we will grow fatigued of one another. Mom is interested in lineage, distant family relations, interesting history and intersections of history and said family. The Hows and Whys are intriguing to her.
One of my sisters, on the other hand, is not as interested in the details of history (although she does enjoy them) and prefers to experience the here and now more: walks in nature, looking at little shops, people-watching.
The most important part of preparing for any trip with your family is recognizing the strengths of each person (including myself) and the triggers that each of them has. If you know that your pre-teen son doesn't like art, nor does he have the attention-span to learn about it at this point in life, would you take him to every painting in the Louvre? Probably not. Likewise, if you will be a hangry grump if you don't get lunch by noon, then make sure you have a snack on you or that lunch is happening by noon daily.
In short, know your travel companions and self-care. What do you suggest?